Mob Wives Season 2 Episode 9 recap: Cabin Fever

All of the women – except for Drita and Big Ang – decide to go on a vacation to the Poconos together to relax.  Sounds like a plan, but we know it’s not a good one.

But the episode does start off with some fun.

Big Ang takes Carla and Ramona to Belmont Raceway to do some gambling, with Ramona saying the races are a great excuse for dressing up.

Afterwards they meet Karen, and they talk about the Poconos trip.  Karen says it will be a “girls’ vacation.” Big Ang asks about Drita going and Ramona and Karen can’t believe what they’re hearing.

It turns out Big Ang can’t go because of expected thyroid surgery and Drita tells Big Ang that she’ll be going to anger management instead.  “I would never go to the f***ing Poconos with Karen and them,” Drita adds.

“I feel bad for Carla because she’s going away with nut cases,” Drita says.

Big Ang thinks Drita’s time is better spent trying to take care of her anger issues.

“I think it’s good she’s going to give it a shot because people are getting hurt here!” Big Ang says.

Renee should’ve signed up for anger management with Drita.  Renee spins out of control again, and again is at the center of all the arguing and drama.

Even for the birthday of her beloved ex, Junior, Renee can’t keep it together.  She gets him a watch, he says it’s really nice, but that’s not enough.  When she seems to be getting mad that he’s no overjoyed about his present, Junior says he’s just not as dramatic as she is.

Renee also wants to know what texts he’s received on his birthday – just to make sure his ex-girlfriend isn’t among the well-wishers.  There aren’t any texts from the woman, but Renee and Junior have a birthday spat and she ends up telling him, “Happy f***ing birthday!”

Carla and Drita meet and talk about the Halloween party and the girls’ vacation, and Carla says she hopes that Drita isn’t part of the trip although she won’t physically be there.  “I feel like I’m going to get in the middle of a Drita-bashing…”

When the women arrive at their cabin in the Poconos, Karen mentions the digs don’t look like the picture on the Internet.  “It looks like some Norman Bates s**t,” Ramona says.  It’s definitely not a place for Ramona and her Louis Vuitton luggage set.

Renee says she’s afraid to sleep alone and asks Carla to sleep in bed with her.  We know the answer.  The thought of closing her eyes with Renee in the room doesn’t seem to appeal to Carla.

“I can’t sleep by myself – I’m afraid…,” Renee says.  “This trip is not going to help me relax by any means.  There’s no massaging, there’s no pampering.”

Later when the ladies go horseback riding Carla comments, “Renee’s actually having a good time.”  That never really lasts too long, and it doesn’t in the Poconos either.  Renee tells Carla she intends to confront Ramona about what Ramona allegedly said about Junior.  Drita said Ramona said he’s a loser without Renee, and that he married Renee because of her father.

Back at Drita’s therapist office, Drita mentions how her first fight was in kindergarten.  She shows her softer side when she talks about how that happened.  A little boy was making fun of a kid in a wheelchair so she hauled off and let the bully have it.

Drita talks about how duking it out was also a part of the way she grew up.  She notes that unlike the other women whose families were wealthy, she lived in the projects.  “I grew up and hung out in neighborhoods where you better stick up for yourself or you’re gonna take a beatin’.”

Vodka is about to be served at the cabin and that presents a couple of problems.  Renee announces that she didn’t bring her anti-depressants and that she doesn’t do well with vodka.

“I don’t drink vodka because it’s like devil water,” Renee says, but she decides to indulge.  “I’m going to take it, sting and all.”  That all sounds scarier than Jason chasing everyone through the woods.

“No anti-depressants for Renee and drinking vodka – that’s not good,” Carla comments.

Cabin fever gets heated when Renee starts a conversation about Junior’s ex-girlfriend still texting him and calling Renee’s private phone.  “Renee is going off…” Carla says for those of us with any doubts.

“It takes two to tango,” Ramona tells Renee, indicating Junior is to blame for allowing it all to happen.  Karen adds that Renee and Junior together are “toxic.”

Renee settles down, Carla says she hopes they’re done with Renee’s crying for the weekend, and the group decides to play cards.

However, Renee brings up the Ramona and Junior thing as promised and confronts Ramona.

Renee is hysterical and dials up Junior and tries to get Ramona to tell him what she said about him.

Ramona says she never said it, Renee doesn’t believe it – there’s screaming all around - and then Renee gets Ramona to swear on her children’s lives that she’s telling the truth.  “Every problem is ‘Drita said, Drita said!,’” Ramona yells.  “This is not what we came up here for,” Carla says.

Renee says she believes Ramona because she passed the swearing test (the swearing to God test that is).

The next morning Renee says she wants to have a Drita-free day.  The group goes fishing and prepare for a night out on the town.

Carla passes out fake teeth so they’ll fit in with the locals.

They hit a “hot spot” called, “Shenanigans” – the perfect place for this bunch.  Karen notes, “Renee used to be fun…In the current state of mind she’s in we never know what might happen.”

A guy at the bar starts out flirting with Karen and ends up flirting with danger.

He starts talking with all the ladies and brings up the fact that he has only one nut – but that he adds he’s ”very, very good in bed.”   TMI alert.  Renee goes nuts, Karen tells the other nut case not to disrespect women and security takes him away.

“I don’t like to be disrespected,” Renee says as she storms out of the bar.  She calls Junior and tells him to come pick her up.  What a nice, fun vacation!

On “The Sit Down” after show with Renee, Ramona and Karen, Renee is asked about whether she agrees she can be easily manipulated, resulting in some of the drama.  “At the end of the day I’m going to confront the person, that’s me,” she says.

Questioned about asking Carla to sleep with her in the Poconos cabin, Renee says that even at home she can’t sleep alone.  Her teddy bear and the Bible are always in bed with her.

Another question was about whether anger management would work for Drita.  “She needs more of an exorcist,” Karen says.  “This is basically what she’s known for,” Ramona adds of Drita.

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